Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
