he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
