i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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