dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
