I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
