Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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