i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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