I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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