was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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