my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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