it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
