I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
