Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be naked everywhere
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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