i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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