HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
