Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
