Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
