I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
