everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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