i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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