Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
