So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
