My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
