grandma shit on top of the toilet
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
