i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
