I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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