Plan B is the new Plan A
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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