she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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