I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
