you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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