youre lurking in front of me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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