Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
