As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
