why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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