I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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