stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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