he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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