She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
