Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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