you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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