Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
