you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
