if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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