I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
