Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
