Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
