he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
