I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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