Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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