just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
