THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
