my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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